My Family

 It's Christmas day, and 2023 will soon come to a close. Looking back, if I had to put a name to it, I could call it many things. The year of struggle, the year of the moving, the year of the blindness. But a more apt name for it is the year of family.

The Year of Struggle: For some reason, this year my struggles seemed to be exacerbated. Not only were external forces at play, but internal ones, that I thought were long gone. Particularly the feeling of abandonment. But why? There is really little reason for it. Seems the enemy always attacks our weakest points, and this is mine, rejection. Situations in my past, at the hands of other Christians, were not always pleasant, I wasn't always treated with kindness, respect, and love. On that, I'll elaborate some other time.

The Year of the Move: Because of circumstances beyond my control a few years ago, I ended up in a dumpy little apartment. It was small, cramped, and filthy. My roommate had personal hygiene issues. (He took a shower less than ten times the whole time I was there).  I cleaned it up, repainted it, and installed new carpeting. It became livable. We then ended up with another roommate, a lady with a broken arm and leg, who was made homeless by her son and daughter-in-law. It was his idea to move her in, he wanted a relationship with her. Cut to the short of it, she saw his hygiene habits and other personality traits and quickly so "NO". But he continued to try anyway. He stayed another eight months, went on a meth binge and left. But that's a whole story in itself.

She continued to live with me. She had no income, so I supported her and made sure all her physical needs were met. It was like having a wife without the conjugal benefits. An apartment opened up in the town my church was in. It was clean and secure, and I felt it was an answer to prayer. My roommate at that time had made some real connections with people from a local church. I felt a release spiritually that now was the time to move on, and I did.

The Year of Blindness: I've already elaborated on in a recent post A Life-Altering Gift (click if you want to read it). But there was so much more to that story, one I only fully realized the morning of Christmas Eve and our worship service.

The Year of Family: As I've mentioned before, I've not had much luck with church people. Some of it my fault, but most of it from not toeing the line on their view of what they considered  "Christian Orthodoxy". It seems I had a knack for upsetting the apple-cart so to speak. I have a bad habit of finding flaws in their bad theology. When I've asked about it, let's just say it wasn't appreciated. I won't elaborate here but geez, people take their dogma seriously. However, this Sunday realized something was much different.

I was looking up at the monitors and saw all the smiling, happy faces staring back at me. I then realized these weren't just the people who I go to church with. These were people I've counted on the past several years. Brothers and sisters who helped me through the tribulations that life seems to offer. I can see many who have helped me when I was at my lowest, when looking up I could barely see the bottom. When I put on the brave face, but was really an emotional wreck. Those smiling faces had become more than I could have ever hoped for. Those smiling faces became family.

I can recount the times of my greatest need, this family was there for me. When after my last strokes, they brought food to me and then installed railings in my hallway, so I could learn how to walk again. Another time when I was working with this young couple where the boyfriend was struggling with a meth addiction. I could only put them up in a hotel room for one night, but this family came through and paid for a week while we got them into housing. Or when I lived almost twenty miles away and the battery in my SUV died and they came out and replaced it for me, then even paid for the battery. Finally, when I had an opportunity to move, but didn't have the initial funds. They gave me five hundred dollars for my security deposit, so I could move on from the bad situation that I mentioned previously. There are so many other things I could elaborate on, suffice to say I would be in a much more dire situation if it weren't for them.

In closing, I wish to articulate how special these people have become to me, and the growing love I have for them.

Bro. Scott





        

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